Listen to Your Stupid Body

I ran 5K in 36 minutes (ok, 35:59) this morning, bringing to an end a week of really good runs. But, normally, I'd say "It's ok.  At least I got out there.  That's what this summer is all about."

But no.  I shouldn't have gotten out there, I should have stayed in bed with a heat pack on my back.

You see, I got trounced at badminton on Monday for about an hour and 15 minutes, my first time playing any racquet sport in several years.  I knew my back and shoulder would be sore.  And they were.  I was a little sore yesterday, but I felt ok yesterday and went on my run without incident, finishing 3.1 miles 34:29.  Pretty good!

Today...MUCH worse. It started to feel worse last night, when I was having trouble getting into a comfortable position to sleep, but it was even worse this morning: every motion was agony and if I did find a comfortable position, the muscle would painfully spasm after a few seconds.  "Maybe a run will loosen it up", I stupidly said to myself.

I got over to the school, back still spasm-ing, and my legs felt weak as I walked up a slighly inclined part of the parking lot.  "I'll feel better once I warm up", I stupidly thought.

I was wrong on both stupid counts.  I felt terrible, legs week, stride uneven, suffering through my 3.1, with my back feeling even worse when I finished.  At one point, around 9:30, I got up from my office chair, couldn't straighten up, and fell back in the chair with a "thud".  After a miserable day of back spasms, I'm only starting to feel a little better 13 hours later with a heating pad on my back.

I have been trying to tell myself that I won't always feel strong and have motivation, so I have to take advantage of the days that I do and get out there, rather than depending on that motivation to still be there that evening (when it's 85F) of the next day (when bed is so comfy).  But on the other hand, all the motivation in the world isn't going to help if you're legitimately injured.  Think before you run, and rest if you need it.  Don't be stupid like me.

To add insult to injury, my new Nike singlet looks very unflattering on me.

Rise Up

Yes.  My wife and I listened to a lot of Lin-Manuel Miranda's "Hamilton" on the way to and from Virginia Beach, but that's  not the point. 

The point is that Shamrock weekend is, for me as a runner, a "Mountaintop Experience".  The phrase refers to the biblical account of when some of Jesus' inner circle of disciples, Peter, James, and John, went to pray with Him on a mountaintop at which they saw Him revealed in all His glory.  In modern context, it's often used to refer to an event of spiritual awakening or a high point, contrasted to "the valley", everyday life in which someone lives and works and struggles every day.

I mean no disrespect to the religious connotations of the phrase, but I think the concept can apply in other walks of life.  Last summer, my company's sales meeting felt like a mountaintop experience of sorts to me.  I presented in front of a group for the first time and felt like I brought the house down with wit and good humor; watched a highly respected colleague present about (among other things) the importance of my role and how I had helped him; and left the meeting feeling more excited, valued, and connected with my coworkers than I had in years.

 

A few days later, I got a rude awakening when I realized that our new CEO, who sat through both of those presentations, had no idea who I was or what I did.

 

As a runner, Shamrock Weekend is a mountaintop experience.  It's the place where in 2011, I ran my first marathon, and where the 8K has beecome my favorite race of all, a beacon of hope and fun in running years lost to injury and malaise, and finally, where I finished the half this year to be a participant on both days for the first time.  In addition to the happy memories surrounding the event, Virginia Beach is a place Chris and I have come to feel very at home.  We always have fun and leave Shamrock Weekend feeling proud of our running accomplishments and looking forward to next year.

 

Now I have left the mountaintop, excited and motivated, but also realizing that over the past 5 years my motivation has died in the summer heat. I train for Shamrock -- or at least gut it out on race day -- have a blast at the parties, and then it's over in a flash.

If a Fall half or full marathon -- or my goal of a long-delayed return to the 26.2 next year at Shamrock -- is to be a reality, I must stay more focused.  Get up earlier.  Run more.  Get stronger.  Believe that I can do this again...and turn that belief into reality in the valley of the post-Shamrock everyday non-beach world that I have struggled to train in for the last 4 years.

Race Report: 2016 Under Armour Kelly St. Patrick's Day Shamrock 5K

I hate this race.  Every year, I blog about how much I hate this race.  The crowds, the lack of pace signs, too-long beer lines at the postrace party, the crowds.

And every year, I come back to this race, mostly for the post - race celebration we always have at a local pub.

I've put down some good times here.  26:14 in 2010, our first crack at it, was my best.  Tapered to a 30 minute finish in 2011 a week before my first marathon, and came back strong with a 26:42 in 2012 while recovering (so I thought) from what turned out to be my compartment syndrome.  This year, I ran a 32:55 and said afterwards that "I ran the shit out of that race".  That’s not one of my best 5K times by any means, but it's quite a but faster than I've been in training this year, when I've pretty consistently been a 12 - minute miler.

It helped that most of the first mile is downhill, and the last mile mostly flat.  There's some hills in the second mile and beginning of the third (coming back up Key Highway toward Light St.) but I felt strong...or at least "not weaker" on the hills.  Thanks, Mt. Wolf.

I did have the feeling at about halfway that I was running this faster than I should have and wouldn't be able to finish without a walk break or two, but the cool weather helped me hang in to the end.

I'm very happy with a time that I would have been pissed about 4 or 5 years ago, but that's something I can work on.  I would like to get myself back under 30 minutes in the 5K this year, but I need to balance that with an overall focus on base mileage and long runs for a possible marathon attempt in the fall.

Whether or not that happens, I'm pretty sure you'll see me at the start of this race next March.

PROS:
Fast course, great crowd support, the crowd of green-clad runners heading down Charles St. is a cool sight, you can watch the parade afterward, and sometimes the Oriole Bird is in the parade.

CONS:
Crowded course, lack of pace signs, the name of the race is annoyingly long and I can't call it "Shamrock 5K" when so many people are familiar with the Shamrock races in VA Beach the next weekend.

Hey Hills, I Got Something For You

Hey hills, remember me?  I'm the guy whose butt you kicked last Monday

But I came back...and got beat on again.  Just not as bad.  Felt much stronger; shaved over a minute off my time; and only needed one walk break instead of three.

I can build on this.  I've talked a good game before, but I really feel like I have momentum back.  To test the hills again next Monday.

'Sup?

The Rude Awakening

I had a good Spring.  Good showing at Sole of the City 10k, longest distances in years, and finally a "big race" finish at the Wild Half in May.

I had a bad Summer and Fall.  I just haven't had the willpower to make running a priority with the crazy hours I've worked and unlike 2011, I'm not coming off a great Summer.  I don't have that "cushion" of mileage that let me nail my long run even if it was my only run of the week.

So, while my wife was waiting to start her 13.1-mile leg of the NCR Trail Marathon Relay (her 11th half and 4th this year), I bonked on a three mile run that took me over the famed Mason Dixon line.

I will always be there cheering for Chris at the finish, but watching everyone finish made me want to be out there again.

I recall in 2010, when I ran the last leg of a marathon relay among people who were at miles 19-26.2 and feeling better than me.  It was just a bad day, but it made me realize I needed to train harder to run the half marathon that I was signed up for a month from them (I ended up w/a PR) and it made me really consider a full marathon for the first time. It was a rude awakening, and so was today.  Time to join a gym. Time to get out there after work, even if it's just a mile or two.  Time to push the "new" legs to the limit and see what they've got.

Time to be the runner I was before.

Negativity Reigns

Usually on Monday morning, I'll remark to one of my coworkers, "Is it Friday, yet?"  I suspect I'm not alone in wanting to rush through the work week to get to the fun part.

Unfortunately, it didn't take too long into this year for me to say "Is it 2015, yet?"

Within the two months of 2014:

• Our nice old cat, Higgy, who is almost 16, was diagnosed with kitty lymphoma -- the vet drained over a pound of fluid out of him.  He's comfortable and happy, as much as we can tell, for now, but there's nothing that can be done for the poor little guy other than give him meds to slow the buildup of fluid around his lungs and spoil him rotten for as long as we can.
• I had the flu, and as soon as I got better, Chris got sick.  So we were collectively ill for about two and a half weeks.
• We had to spend more money on my old car, which I do love, than is probably worth sinking into a 2004 Neon with 140,000ish miles on it, but due to another consideration, it made sense to avoid another car payment.
•  I got some bad news about my job, which was demoralizing in context of the massive amount of work I did last year and seems to be continuing this year.  
• Lost our power in the big ice storm that hit the Mid-Atlantic on Wednesday.  Power was restored about 40 hours later, meaning that were actually relatively lucky, but during that time we just felt, well...powerless.

(Higgy the Cat, shown in front of his favorite heating vent, doesn't know anything's wrong, but

 he is SUPER pissed that he had to be shaved on the coldest day of the year.)

  I know there's an easy counter to each of those:  "It's good that you got have your cat for that long and that he had a great life"; "You weren't that sick"; "At least you have a car"; "Too much work is better than not enough"; "At least you have a (usually) warm house to live in."

I know. I know.  All of those are completely true, and I recognize that overall, I've got it pretty good and that almost everything I'm complaining about is a "first world problem".  Still, it's been enough bad luck in such a short time that I'm just feeling like it's one bad thing after another this year, and having trouble getting out of that negative mindset.

Since I can't make 2015 get here any faster, I need to find a way to reset my way of thinking, and since running had -- until this week -- actually been starting to go pretty well again, I think it's time to cut this blog entry short and head out on the road.

I'm sure that it'll also help when we win the Powerball tonight.

The Lost Year

2013 was not without its moments.  I made some great new friends.  I had some fun adventures. But as the year ended, I'm as burnt-out, depressed, and out-of-shape as I've ever been and I realized yesterday that I just couldn't see any way out of it.

I've let the stress of my job, which generally comes with a panic-level approximating an emergency room despite lives NOT hanging in the balance, ruin the past year.  I don't want to use that as an excuse. I'M the one who didn't get up and run the next morning after working late.  I'M the one who stress-ate everything in sight.  I'M the one who reached for a beer on nights on which normally I would not. I'M the one who didn't get to the gym enough when I took a few months away from running (again) to rehab my compartment syndrome. I let myself have the mindset of a victim, but I was the perpetrator all along.

So this year, I must fight.  I have to fight to get the miles in.  To get to the gym.  To eat more salads and not so many delicious burgers.  To try to make that workplace culture a better one, rather than just complaining about it.  To be a better friend and family member and a better all-around individual, and not only a great employee.

Talk is cheap.  Words on a mostly-defunct blog are worthless.  Trying to have a new positive outlook doesn't change my workload or deadlines or magically reduce my stress-level.  It doesn't make me weigh less or able to run 5 -- hell, 3 -- miles again.  The things that suck, still suck.  I can try to have a new positive attitude, and I know from trying before that it will last only day...if that.  My only hope for making this year a better one is to actually take actions to do the things that will make me feel better about myself.

Run the miles.

Lose the weight.

Re-engage with the friends and loved ones I've neglected.

Don't have another lost year.

"We're from Philadelphia and we fight."
                                        - Chip Kelly, Head Coach, Philadelphia Eagles