Monday, July 8, 2013

This Isn't Fun Anymore

That's what I said to myself on Saturday morning, as I set on the steps of Northeastern Middle School, breathing heavily, a veritable river of sweat running down the steps and into the parking lot below.  I don't mean to complain in saying that, but it's just a fact for me right now.  Nothing about running is enjoyable for me these days.

Two miles, a distance that used to be extremely easy for me, is a struggle.  I probably can't run a 5K right now and I feel like I'm a few weeks away from being there.  The half marathon I'm signed up for in October is probably a stretch physically, anyway, but mentally, it just seems completely outside the realm of the possible.

More troubling, is that I just don't want to run more than two miles right now.  I mean, why would I?  It's hot, it's humid, and it's hard; just not enjoyable in any sense of the word right now.  Really, I probably can -- and should -- try to push myself up toward 3 miles this coming weekend to get a better read on my compartment syndrome symptoms.  I'll definitely need a change of scenery for it (rail trail, maybe?) because I definitely am feeling bad vibes about just running it in the neighborhood where I usually run, where I limped back to my car so many times last year and earlier this one.

Again, I don't mean to complain, but I'm not sure how I fix the mental/motivational aspect of this.   I think I just need to accept that until I get some more conditioning back and the weather cools down, that this is going to be miserable.  It's just harder than usual to see the big picture when I really haven't had a really good, enjoyable, or rewarding run since the first half of last year. Today's run wasn't as miserable as Saturday's, except for the part where I tripped on uneven sidewalk and went flying.  That kind of sucked.

Meanwhile, I'll be out there on the road on Wednesday or Thursday morning, hating every second  of it.

3 comments:

  1. I wish I had an easy fix for you here - but I don't. I haven't been out much, at all . . . right at the 5k mark, over the weekend, I puked (I went out at midday with nothing in my stomach but a whole lot of water . . . not the wisest of decisions).

    Gaining strength & increasing distance is easy - just run more . . . but wanting to run, well, that's a whole 'nother issue. Yeah, look for a change of scenery - I actually use the Newville/Shippensburg Rail-Trail as my "need new scenery" strategy...something about mostly flat with pretty sights just works to clear my head a bit.

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    1. Thanks, John. I think the only cure is just for me to hang in there until I start having some runs that don't suck, meaning I get a little more positive reinforcement from them.

      Intellectually, I know I have to struggle through low-mileage runs again, but I need to change my mindset to enjoy them or at least appreciate them a little more.

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