Saturday, November 19, 2011
Nipple Guards? Nipple Guards. (Don't laugh).
Foam roller? Foamy.
Garmin? Charged, and ready to get thrown into either of two rivers.
Three inhalers, two allergy pills, and vitamins? Check.
I think this marathon is going to be a disaster, yet I am oddly at peace with it. Yes, I was undertrained, but I think I made a pretty good comeback here over the last few weeks. But then, I fell apart, and this week has shattered my confidence.
I've worked a total of eight years at my current job, and I think the past month has been one of the busiest, most challenging ever, and I believe this week was the single most stressful week of all of those eight years. Its taken it's toll in lack of sleep, and I suspect it was a factor in the weird respiratory illness that I had earlier in the week.
After this week, 26.2 miles sounds easy.
Until I start running, that is. I've often blogged about how I really have no idea whether a run is going to be good or bad until I start. That's even more true than usual this week. I felt terrible on Monday and Wednesday. I think my meds have cleared my lungs out, but it seems like my energy level just isn't there yet, despite getting better (but not great) nights of sleep on Wednesday and Thursday nights and eating a lot of energy-filled foods. I just have no idea what I'm going to feel like when I start running, and that's scary.
I'm sure it sounds like I'm making excuses, and that is not my intent. Nor do I mean to be my usual negative self. I am acknowledging that real life kicked my ass this week, but I am going to finish the race (barring injury, of course) It is also not my intent to claim that circumstances have been tougher than that of any other runners -- only tough in the context of my own experience. I saw a motivational picture last week that said "Right now, someone busier than you is running", and that's my mantra for Shamrock.
But this is also not an admission of defeat. I don't care if it takes me six hours (though I'd prefer it didn't), I am finishing. I think there will better races than this ahead of me, races in which I am better physically prepared and in a better state of mind. Despite the race's cheesy slogan, I highly doubt this will be "The Best Time of My Life" in any sense of the phrase. But I will finish.
And right now, that's going to have to be enough.
Good luck to all my fellow Philly Marathon, Half Marathon, and 8K runners! Have fun. Finish the race.