Listen to Your Stupid Body

I ran 5K in 36 minutes (ok, 35:59) this morning, bringing to an end a week of really good runs. But, normally, I'd say "It's ok.  At least I got out there.  That's what this summer is all about."

But no.  I shouldn't have gotten out there, I should have stayed in bed with a heat pack on my back.

You see, I got trounced at badminton on Monday for about an hour and 15 minutes, my first time playing any racquet sport in several years.  I knew my back and shoulder would be sore.  And they were.  I was a little sore yesterday, but I felt ok yesterday and went on my run without incident, finishing 3.1 miles 34:29.  Pretty good!

Today...MUCH worse. It started to feel worse last night, when I was having trouble getting into a comfortable position to sleep, but it was even worse this morning: every motion was agony and if I did find a comfortable position, the muscle would painfully spasm after a few seconds.  "Maybe a run will loosen it up", I stupidly said to myself.

I got over to the school, back still spasm-ing, and my legs felt weak as I walked up a slighly inclined part of the parking lot.  "I'll feel better once I warm up", I stupidly thought.

I was wrong on both stupid counts.  I felt terrible, legs week, stride uneven, suffering through my 3.1, with my back feeling even worse when I finished.  At one point, around 9:30, I got up from my office chair, couldn't straighten up, and fell back in the chair with a "thud".  After a miserable day of back spasms, I'm only starting to feel a little better 13 hours later with a heating pad on my back.

I have been trying to tell myself that I won't always feel strong and have motivation, so I have to take advantage of the days that I do and get out there, rather than depending on that motivation to still be there that evening (when it's 85F) of the next day (when bed is so comfy).  But on the other hand, all the motivation in the world isn't going to help if you're legitimately injured.  Think before you run, and rest if you need it.  Don't be stupid like me.

To add insult to injury, my new Nike singlet looks very unflattering on me.

Rise Up

Yes.  My wife and I listened to a lot of Lin-Manuel Miranda's "Hamilton" on the way to and from Virginia Beach, but that's  not the point. 

The point is that Shamrock weekend is, for me as a runner, a "Mountaintop Experience".  The phrase refers to the biblical account of when some of Jesus' inner circle of disciples, Peter, James, and John, went to pray with Him on a mountaintop at which they saw Him revealed in all His glory.  In modern context, it's often used to refer to an event of spiritual awakening or a high point, contrasted to "the valley", everyday life in which someone lives and works and struggles every day.

I mean no disrespect to the religious connotations of the phrase, but I think the concept can apply in other walks of life.  Last summer, my company's sales meeting felt like a mountaintop experience of sorts to me.  I presented in front of a group for the first time and felt like I brought the house down with wit and good humor; watched a highly respected colleague present about (among other things) the importance of my role and how I had helped him; and left the meeting feeling more excited, valued, and connected with my coworkers than I had in years.

 

A few days later, I got a rude awakening when I realized that our new CEO, who sat through both of those presentations, had no idea who I was or what I did.

 

As a runner, Shamrock Weekend is a mountaintop experience.  It's the place where in 2011, I ran my first marathon, and where the 8K has beecome my favorite race of all, a beacon of hope and fun in running years lost to injury and malaise, and finally, where I finished the half this year to be a participant on both days for the first time.  In addition to the happy memories surrounding the event, Virginia Beach is a place Chris and I have come to feel very at home.  We always have fun and leave Shamrock Weekend feeling proud of our running accomplishments and looking forward to next year.

 

Now I have left the mountaintop, excited and motivated, but also realizing that over the past 5 years my motivation has died in the summer heat. I train for Shamrock -- or at least gut it out on race day -- have a blast at the parties, and then it's over in a flash.

If a Fall half or full marathon -- or my goal of a long-delayed return to the 26.2 next year at Shamrock -- is to be a reality, I must stay more focused.  Get up earlier.  Run more.  Get stronger.  Believe that I can do this again...and turn that belief into reality in the valley of the post-Shamrock everyday non-beach world that I have struggled to train in for the last 4 years.

Good Run? I Guess?

Today, I ran my Monday Hill route again.  I felt terrible.  I was breathing heavily almost the entire route, and I needed 3 walk breaks instead of the one I needed last week.  I was writing it off as just "one of those days", when I looked down at my watch and saw that I was finishing a minute faster than my time last week.

So, I'm not sure whether this was a good run or not.  Last week, I lowered my time by a minute from the previous week and felt great.  I think I would have rather felt good with no time change.  I'm certainly still finding my pace again.  I used to be very consistent in my training and be able to tell what pace I was running by level of effort (like the "I'm dying" I put down at my 6:21 mile at Harrisburg in 2011).  Now...I'm not.  Some days I'm faster, some days I'm slower.  I care more about distance than speed, but I have to admit it's frustrating to be finishing 3 miles in the time it used to take to run four.   In my defense, it was 29 degrees F with a wind chill in the single digits.  29F, to me, is long-sleeves or jacket (probably not both), light gloves, visor, ear warmer, and shorts weather.  Single digits is jacket, Under Armour, long pants, hat, gloves.  I dressed for the wind chill, despite my route being mostly sheltered from the wind.  In the bright noon-time sun with little wind, I had way more layers than I needed.  That said, it was brutally cold tonight.  I'm very glad I got my run in during the day.  I love running in the cold, but tonight was way too cold and windy for me.

Anyway, despite not feeling so great on today's run, it caps off another pretty good week of running and fitness.  (Except Wednesday, where I was fitness whole pizza in my mouth!)  In addition to last week's hill run on Monday, I ran 2 on Thursday night with Chris, and then 6 miles in 1:09:50 on Saturday.  That's an 11:36/mile pace, not far off from where I need to be to finish a marathon in 5 hours, whether it be this fall or next spring.  I'm hoping that with more running, more hills, and some speedwork that I'd like to mix in once my endurance is built back up a little more, I'll get a little faster so I have a little cushion should I once again need to walk some of those later miles.

These first two weeks of January have been the best, most consistent stretch of running and working out that I've had since my surgery (mumbles) almosttwoyearsago.

It's something.

(This goofy fleece headband has a hole for a hat brim.  It was more than I needed today, but is still a neat, low-tech piece of gear that I hadn't used before.  The beard is just for show, it's not thick enough to keep my face warm, yet.)

Hills Suck. Awesome Gloves Do Not.

This was my run last night...and it kicked my butt.

The elevation chart just doesn't do justice to how grueling some of these hills are, particularly the last steep uphill starting at about mile 2.4.  I had been running this route in early summer and doing well, despite the heat, but I'd also been coming off a half marathon, not months of minimal running (not to be confused with minimalist running).

After a mild (to put it mildly) few weeks, this was the first REALLY cold night run in a long time for me..under 20 degrees, wind chill making it feel like the single digits.  I was breathing heavily by the time I hit the half-mile point (Chris and I have been using a Jeff Galloway-inspired walk-run plan, where we walk a minute after every half mile run) and since the next half mile was a steep, fun downhill, I just kept going, and made it up the first big hill, making the turn at the baseball field in Mt. Wolf, and taking my first walk break at 1.5 miles.  I took my scheduled walk break at 2 miles, and then DIED going up the last, steep hill, requiring two walk breaks in that last .6 miles to finish.  

My legs are sore today!  I bit off more than I could chew, and I was probably foolish to think that running five miles on Saturday had prepped me for a hill route this tough, but I think I'll run this once a week and hopefully feel myself getting stronger.

I did get to try out an awesome new piece of gear, though.  LED running gloves!  If only they played techno music to go along with the flashing colored lights, it would have been like a 3-mile, hilly dance party.

New Year, New Plans

Happy New Year from me and the rest of the EYD team.  2015 was a year with some good running accomplishments (The Wild Half) and also a lot of months during which I didn't get off my ass. (August, September, October, November, December)

I'm starting the 2016 off right, dusting off the weight bench (I lifted, too, after I dusted it off.) for the first time in longer than I can remember, and running 5 hilly miles with Chris through Mt. Wolf.

I have to get the miles in -- I'm signed up for a half marathon in March!  I would also like to do a fall marathon (which would probably be the NCR Trail Marathon) this year.  I've put off revenge far enough.  It's  time to come all the way back.

2015 was a great year with family and friends.  I got out of my comfort zone at work and I like my job and my company more than ever before.  There were many years where running gave me confidence to face the toughest client or the impossible deadline.  Now it's  time to take the momentum from the rest of life and channel that back to getting out on the roads.

It's a new year. Let's kick some ass.

The Rude Awakening

I had a good Spring.  Good showing at Sole of the City 10k, longest distances in years, and finally a "big race" finish at the Wild Half in May.

I had a bad Summer and Fall.  I just haven't had the willpower to make running a priority with the crazy hours I've worked and unlike 2011, I'm not coming off a great Summer.  I don't have that "cushion" of mileage that let me nail my long run even if it was my only run of the week.

So, while my wife was waiting to start her 13.1-mile leg of the NCR Trail Marathon Relay (her 11th half and 4th this year), I bonked on a three mile run that took me over the famed Mason Dixon line.

I will always be there cheering for Chris at the finish, but watching everyone finish made me want to be out there again.

I recall in 2010, when I ran the last leg of a marathon relay among people who were at miles 19-26.2 and feeling better than me.  It was just a bad day, but it made me realize I needed to train harder to run the half marathon that I was signed up for a month from them (I ended up w/a PR) and it made me really consider a full marathon for the first time. It was a rude awakening, and so was today.  Time to join a gym. Time to get out there after work, even if it's just a mile or two.  Time to push the "new" legs to the limit and see what they've got.

Time to be the runner I was before.

Race Report: 2015 Wild Half, Wildwoods NJ

I'm having trouble putting into words my experiences at the 2015 Wild Half Marathon (but let me write a long, rambling blog post about it, nonetheless), because it's an accomplishment that still feels like a setback.  The accomplishment is that I finished my first half marathon since 2010, marking a significant step forward in my often-derailed comeback; and the setback is how I felt during the race, which I was clearly not as ready for as I had thought that I was.

Pre-race
Chris and I arrived in Wildwood on Friday afternoon, going from our hotel, the Beach Bungalow at the Blue Palms, to the Adventure Pier in time for packet pickup.  We then went for dinner at Capt'n Jack's Island Grille, on the Boardwalk, which featured one of the boardwalk's few liquor licenses, excellent fries, and good burgers and sandwiches.  After dinner, Chris and I retired rather quickly to our room, exhausted from the long travel day and in bed by 9:30.

We slept in till about 10:30 on Saturday, had breakfast (muffins that we had packed to save money) in our room, and then hit the boardwalk.  We did some shopping, picking up a few Christmas ornaments; had a small lunch at Capt'n Jack's again; and played miniature golf (a rare win for Chris) before heading back to our rooms to relax for a while before heading out to an early dinner with some new friends at Little Italy.  After a delicious dinner, Chris and I headed to the Old City Pub for a single pre-race beer, one of our longstanding race traditions, and then back to the room to get our race gear ready and turn in early.

I find the laying out of the gear the night before to be very soothing.

Race Day
Race day dawned warm and extremely humid, consistent with the weather forecasts.  We knew at that time that this race would be a struggle and not much fun. It didn't help that the bed in our room was very firm, and so neither of us had slept especially well and Chris' back (with her two herniated disks) was quite sore.

Ready for the race?  Not as much as I thought.

Ready to make dumb pre-race faces?  Of course! 

Still, we were as ready as we could be, and we kept to our Jeff Galloway-inspired plan of half-mile run intervals with a minute of walking in between, as the course went south on Ocean Avenue into Wildwood Crest (the southern part of Wildwood) before turning and heading back north on the Wildwood Crest bike path and the entire length of the Wildwood boardwalk.  We were hot, it was disgustingly humid, but we felt relatively ok and were sticking to plan. 

At about the four-mile mark, we left the boardwalk and continued in the same direction up JFK Beach Drive (I didn't know any of these street names at the time, I found a map with mile markers here) before making a series of turns that took the course in a more due-northerly direction through North Wildwood.

After the sixth mile, I felt that the course became more difficult, as we crossed a bridge over Gateway Sound and then just after the mile 7 marker another bridge taking us out to Mosquito Island.  It's really called Nummy Island, but I think my description of this swampy landmass is more apt.  During this stretch of the race, we began to struggle more and more with pain:  Chris' back and hips, and my right knee, which was very sore on the outside.  We made the turn shortly before completing 8 miles, and headed back over those bridges, walking the inclines at this point, my right knee and Chris' back and hips hurting badly at this point.

We made it to mile 10, back in North Wildwood, at which point we were walking more than running.  Every mile seemed longer than the next, until we were back on the boardwalk with a little over a mile to go.  At Garfield Ave, we turned off the boardwalk and then made a left on Ocean toward the finish.  The misery had ended.

The positives:  We made it.  The comeback continues.  No compartment syndrome symptoms.

The negatives:  The race just didn't go how we hoped it would. A possibly new injury or recurrence of ITBS.

I was internally kicking myself (with my non-sore leg!) through the last few miles of the race, but after further reflection, I think the positives clearly outweigh the negatives.  We both know that we rushed our training for this race, and I know that while I do my stretching and strength exercises after every run, I have to be more consistent in doing them on my "off" days (my knee injury felt to me like the return of the ITBS that I experienced in 2011.  I know how to manage this), and, to not lose sight of the big picture:  this was the longest distanced I'd completed in almost four years and my longest time out on a course since the Philadelphia Marathon that same year.  As recently as February, I didn't think a half marathon was something I could train for anymore, and it was GREAT to after almost four years to finally be a full participant in a "big" race and not just a spectator.  I am proud of Chris and myself for pushing through pain, in conditions we both despise running in, to finish the race, and I am thankful for her for pacing me (and putting up with me) during such a long race in which I didn't feel good.  Our accomplishment is not taken away by walking more than we wanted or by a sore knee or aching back.

But, I can see that my 10-miler of two weeks ago gave me confidence that was not warranted.  I was not prepared to run a long distance in such hot, humid conditions, and it showed.  I need to train more methodically and train in the heat, I need to lose weight, and I need to get in more l0+ mile runs to determine whether my knee is ok.  My plan going forward is to take it a bit easy with running the next few weeks, which are insanely busy, but to try to get at least one double-digit distance run in during each of the next 5 months with shorter runs on weekdays, whether or not I actually do a half marathon in the Fall.  I think that if I can do this and the legs are feeling good, that this would prepare me to train up to make an attempt at the Shamrock Marathon in March 2016, and that if the legs don't feel good, it would help me to figure out if the current knee issue is really a problem, and/or if compartment syndrome is truly addressed.  For what it's worth, my knee felt dramatically better the next day.

My quest for a revenge marathon took a significant step forward with this finish, but there is still a long way to go.

Despite a challenging race, the comeback continues!

Race Review.
I'm not sure if I would run this one again, just because of the likelihood of having to run it in the warm, humid conditions that I despise.  That said, I think Morey's Piers, CGI Racing, and the Wildwood Community did a great job with this event.  The course was clearly marked; the boardwalk was at least partially closed to pedestrians, giving runners a clear path; there were ample water stations with unfailingly friendly volunteers; and the experience at the finish line was very positive (no running out of medals or food, beer garden still open).  Wildwood is a fun destination and the race entry, which includes admission to the Morey's Piers amusement parks, is a good value. I'm sure this event was established as a way to introduce more people to the Wildwood area and all the fun it has to offer.   It definitely did that, and I will have to write in more detail in another post about the fun places we found to eat. Everything that the organizers could control, they did an excellent job with.  I likely would have had a much more positive experience in the race itself if I had been in the condition I was in 2011, when I ran longer distances in warm, humid conditions several times a month.  That's not in any way the race organizers' fault, of course!

If I could change one thing, I would add an expo or some merchandise.  This was my first "big race" since 2011, and I would have liked to have been able to buy a hat or windbreaker.  A friend said that there had been a small expo in a previous year, and theorized there was none this year because another organization had rented the convention center.  For the record, no expo was promised in ANY of the promotional materials or the event's website.  I'd probably also move the event to April, when cooler weather is a possibility, but in this case that would put this event up against several other big regional races and would mean, I suspect, that businesses on the boardwalk would be almost completely closed.  Again, I don't want my own personal weather bias to detract from my feelings that this was a very well-organized, well-run event.

Race Report: 2015 Sole of the City 10K

I guess the Sole of the City 10K, held every April since 2012,  has become an annual tradition for my wife and I.  We've run each race since its inception; in 2012 we did very well, she PR'd (part of a ridiculous string of consecutive PRs of various distances) and I finished just under an hour.  Despite our participation in every Sole of the City 10K, I was very determined before the start of the race that we would never run this one again.  At least I'd picked up our packets the night before, so we didn't have to take stuff back to the car and then walk back to McHenry Row.

You see, the Sole of the City 10K is a logistical nightmare for someone coming from as far as York.  The race begins at the McHenry Row shopping and residential complex in Baltimore's Locust Point neighborhood, near Fort McHenry and the Baltimore cruise terminal. Knowing that parking for this race is a nightmare, because the McHenry Row tenants (understandably) don't want race traffic parked in their garages, Chris and I were determined to get down to the race an hour early.  We tried parking in the Phillips Seafood lot next McHenry row, heading behind the building where the parking attendant indicated.  Already, people were leaving this lot because it was full.  We then parked in an empty space in Phillips front lot, unable to believe our good fortune, only to be told that this was employee parking.  We ended up parking quite a few blocks away in an Under Armour lot.  It honestly wasn't that far, but I was so frustrated at that point, that I determined that this would be our last Sole of the City.

But then the race happened.

The gun went off, and I quickly remembered what I like about this race:  Its unique course around downtown Baltimore.  Don't get me wrong, lots of races run down Key Highway and back, and Key Highway is part of this race, but also gets over to Fells Point and Harbor East, which aren't part of the Kelly Shamrock 5K, or the Kids Peace Orioles Trick or Trot 5K, or (I'm told) the Baltimore Women's Classic.  The course has been changed the past two years from the first two, when it was a pretty flat loop first around Inner Harbor and then through the Federal Hill area, making for a fast first half of the race and a tough second.  Now, I think it is probably equally hilly the whole way through, although the fifth mile is mostly around the Inner Harbor and is quite flat.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  In sum, think the new course is nice.

And, despite the heat, I felt great.  It was in the mid 60s at race time, which felt very warm to me.  I'd run 6.2 the previous weekend when it was in the 40s.  This was HOT, and I was not prepared for that.  I felt very good through the first three miles, which took us down from McHenry Row; around the Inner Harbor via Key Highway and Pratt Street; then down Wolfe Street toward Fells Point,  and pretty good through mile 4, at which point we had crossed through the Harbor East area and approached the Pier 6 Pavillion.  The heat started to get to me around the 4 mile marker.  The fifth mile, around the Inner Harbor promenade to the Science Center, was the flattest, but without shade and I was dying.  I took one walk break at the fifth mile and another at about 5.5, and made it to the finish in 1:11:04.3, a little over 3 minutes slower than my 6.2 a week before. 

Have I ever mentioned that I don't like running in warm weather?  Note the gross uneven sweat pattern.  Now I'm worried that I have some sort of weird sweating disease.

Considering the heat, I'll take it!  The best part was that my legs felt great, it was the heat and my still getting back in condition that hurt me.  This distance was a stretch for me, so I was really happy with this result.

Race Review
So, despite my frustration with the parking, I think Charm City Run does a very good job with this event every year.  The course is interesting, there are sufficient water stops (mile 2 and mile 4 markers), the finisher celebration is good, and the swag is excellent. 

Men's (navy) and women's (aqua?) Under Armour hoodies.

The weather is a crapshoot in Mid-April ,(it was MUCH cooler the next day) but CCR can't do anything about that. 
 
There is one small thing that maybe they can (pun intended) do something about: light beer.  Look, there's no better beer than free beer, but why is it always low-calorie beers that sponsor these races?  I think a lot of runners "run for beer" and I run so that I can try new and exciting beers, with actual flavor. Beer snob though I am, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the cold Miller Lite tasted damn good on a warm day after a tough race.

Gotta respect the O's can, but get me something with some hops!

That said, I stand by remarks about parking, and I wonder if this race has outgrown its location.  Baltimore area runners should know that Charm City Run has a store on McHenry Row by now.  Maybe it's time this race moved downtown where there are plenty of garages. 

But, even if it doesn't, I'll probably be out on the course running the 5th annual Sole of the City 10K.

2 Miles Down, a Lot to Go.

One of my goals was to be able to run two miles without a walk break by the end of January.  

Bam!

2 miles, 20:07, 0 walk breaks.  I'm back!  Atlantic City Half Marathon here I freakin' come!  Ok, not quite.  But I can build on this.

I was surprised that today's run was relatively good, whereas my last run, on Monday, was relatively bad (I took a walk break every half mile as planned, but still needed an extra one at the end to get through 2 miles) and I hadn't done anything else all week other than stretching.

I think my secret was that it was under 20 degrees today, and I somehow get stronger as the temperature drops.  Sadly, 2 miles is not far enough to get a massive ice buildup in my beard.  My Viking invasion will have to wait. 

Belated New Year's Resolutions

I'm not good at New Years Resolutions.  I didn't keep a single one of my 2013 Resolutions, and most of those carried over from 2012.  Injuries were partly to blame, but again, I don't want to use that as an excuse.  I didn't do what I needed to do and I have to own that.

In 2011, my single resolution was just "to kick ass."  That's stupid.  What does that even mean?  How do I measure success?  Do I have to kick everyone's ass or just one person's?  I made all my running goals for the year and it remains by far my best running, but in terms of my vaguely-defined goal to become more confident and assertive, it was a complete and utter failure.

In order to try to set resolutions that I can keep, I think I need to need to set better resolutions.  A lot of companies use the acronym "SMART" as criteria for business objectives.  Objectives should be:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-bound

"Kick Ass" is not any of these things.  I did a little better with last year's:
1. Run Shamrock Half Marathon in March 2013
2. Under 6:00 mile (carried over from last year)
3. Run one marathon this year.
4. 10 races total
5. Lose 20lbs.  (I freaked out earlier in the year when I was 150. I'm 160 now. I feel best when I'm under 140.)

I did ok with measurable and perhaps time-bound, though I wasn't specific enough.  1. was probably was not attainable given where I was at the end of 2012 and in the context of health, neither was 3.  By setting goals that were too high and partially (PARTIALLY!) out of my control, it makes it easy to throw in the towel on everything.

So, here goes:

1. Lose 30 pounds by July 1, 2014.   As of this morning, I weigh 166.8 pounds. We have a trip to Texas coming up in July for a friend's wedding.  It's really, really hot in Texas, and I need to be lighter if I'm going to take the heat.  I'm happy with my weight being in the 140s, but I want to be on the light side of that for that trip.  Let's make this even more specific:
a. Weigh 159 pounds or less by February 1, 2014
b. Weigh 149 pounds or less by April 1, 2014
c. Weigh 139 pounds or less by June 1, 2014
d. Weigh 137 pounds or less by July 1, 2014
e Weight 149 pounds or less at the end of each subsequent month.  Like I said, I'm ok if I'm in the 140s but that needs to be the line.  I'm not a tall person and I was under 150 until I was almost 36.  I can get back there.

2. Be able to run 6 miles by April 12, 2014.  I'm signed up for sole of the city 10K again.  I limped through this last year with the help of prescription anti-inflammatory drugs and it was the farthest I ran all year.  I can't run two miles now without talking walk breaks every half mile right now.  So let's break this one down, too.
a Be able to run two miles without walk breaks by the end of January.
b. Be able to run four miles by the end of February.
c. Be able to run five miles by the end of March.  This would probably leave me needing some walk breaks to get through Sole of the City and would still have it in my stretch zone, but I'll be better off than I was this year when I didn't really have any business trying to run six miles.

3. Run the AC Half Marathon in October 2014.  By the end of this month, I'll have sent in my deferral for Shamrock Marathon for the third straight year and I've now deferred the AC half twice.  I can't put these off anymore.  I need to get myself in at least position to run the Shamrock Half in 2015 to get it off the books, and to have a hope at the full, I feel like I need to be in half shape by the fall of this year.  By setting my sights on a fall rather than spring half, I think I'm setting a goal that's attainable.  I'll have a mileage plan to get from Sole of the City to Atlantic City, but I I'll set after the 10K. My half PR is just under 2 hours, but I know this isn't a PR race.  I hate running on the boardwalk and I know even if I'm in good shape, I'll need to do some walking on that portion of the race.

4. Get my 5K time back under 30 minutes by May 1, 2014 and under 35 minutes by Kelly St. Patricks in Baltimore in March.  I'm guessing my average time until mid 2012 was in the 26s, but on the right course in the right weather I could get into the 23s.  My PR days are probably behind me, but I still think I can get back some speed.  I say May 1 because that will have me ready for the bulk of 5K season.

Then there's three that I don't think I can put into SMART:

5. Don't care about being the one everyone likes.  There's one part of my social circle where one of my goals is "to be the person everyone likes".  And I think I am.  But, in doing so, though, I've let a status quo that I'm not happy with endure far too long rather than trying to change it.  I'll write more about this one on my other blog.  Not "Orioles Update".  The other one that you don't get to read.

6. Leave the world a better place in 2014 than I found it.  I'd like to contribute more positively to society.


7.  Find a new hobby.  Right now, my hobbies are eating and watching sports.  The first ties back to goal #1.  The second leaves me with my self-esteem tied to closely to a meaningless activity over which I have no control.  I felt like running freed me from that to some degree.  I still loved watching sports and I still lived and died with two of my teams, but I had something of my own to be proud of.  I don't feel like I can depend on running to save me anymore.  I have not always fought as hard as I could to come back, I know that and I will own that.  But I have to know that it's possible that I will give everything to get back and not meet my goals.  I did work really hard in early 2012 to come back, and the shins didn't cooperate.   My attitude wasn't as good after that, and I also know that even if running doesn't work out, I still need to lose the weight, but I want to have another hobby, which could be but doesn't need to be athletic, that fills that same mental role. 



"Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up."
                                                                             - Dean Karnazes

The Lost Year

2013 was not without its moments.  I made some great new friends.  I had some fun adventures. But as the year ended, I'm as burnt-out, depressed, and out-of-shape as I've ever been and I realized yesterday that I just couldn't see any way out of it.

I've let the stress of my job, which generally comes with a panic-level approximating an emergency room despite lives NOT hanging in the balance, ruin the past year.  I don't want to use that as an excuse. I'M the one who didn't get up and run the next morning after working late.  I'M the one who stress-ate everything in sight.  I'M the one who reached for a beer on nights on which normally I would not. I'M the one who didn't get to the gym enough when I took a few months away from running (again) to rehab my compartment syndrome. I let myself have the mindset of a victim, but I was the perpetrator all along.

So this year, I must fight.  I have to fight to get the miles in.  To get to the gym.  To eat more salads and not so many delicious burgers.  To try to make that workplace culture a better one, rather than just complaining about it.  To be a better friend and family member and a better all-around individual, and not only a great employee.

Talk is cheap.  Words on a mostly-defunct blog are worthless.  Trying to have a new positive outlook doesn't change my workload or deadlines or magically reduce my stress-level.  It doesn't make me weigh less or able to run 5 -- hell, 3 -- miles again.  The things that suck, still suck.  I can try to have a new positive attitude, and I know from trying before that it will last only day...if that.  My only hope for making this year a better one is to actually take actions to do the things that will make me feel better about myself.

Run the miles.

Lose the weight.

Re-engage with the friends and loved ones I've neglected.

Don't have another lost year.

"We're from Philadelphia and we fight."
                                        - Chip Kelly, Head Coach, Philadelphia Eagles
 

Down and Out (Again) in Manchester, PA

It seems like just a few weeks ago that things were looking up.  I had to overcome my own lack of motivation (and I did get out and run again the next day from the "Inertia" entry), but my shins were feeling a lot better.  In my previous blog entry, I described running, slower than usual, but still running, the Shamrock 5K in Baltimore.

Unfortunately, things are really not so good.  Two weekends ago, I went out for a run and had the full-on shinsplint/ankle-swelling/lack-of-motion problem that caused me to shut myself down in October.  I gave myself a few days of rest, and limped through two miles on Thursday before giving up due to calf soreness.  I was suprised, honestly, how well I held up in the 5K.



I tried again tonight, and got through only about a mile and a half.  The ankle and shin seem ok, but my calves were really in a lot of pain.  I felt like I would only do more damage if I pressed on, so I dejectedly walked back to my car as I passed by.  My goal had been four miles.  Part of me thinks that I quit too early -- but I don't think there was any way I was getting 4 miles or even three this evening.

Problem:  I'm signed up for an 8K on Saturday.  

I'm hoping that because it's flat as a board and because it's a reminder of my glory days, going past the same Neptune statue that I ran by to finish my first marathon (and one of just two that I've run), that I can drag my carcass through the 8K.  I know it's walker friendly if it comes to that and I know Chris won't let me DNF, too...it's just hard to accept that what seems like relatively minor, lingering injuries are setting me back for so long and that I'm going to bomb at a race that I kicked butt at last year.

So, here's the plan, as such:

1. Continue to try to strengthen the ankle and shin muscles, and work on core.  I'd been doing well at this, but we have not had our weekly personal training sessions the past few weeks due to schedule.  That could be a factor, but I have to do more on my own.

2. Lose some goddamn weight.  I was 20 pounds, at least, lighter when I ran my last marathon.  I have to:
 a. get to the gym more and not rely on running as my sole source of cardio.
 b. EAT LESS  -- No dessert for me until I can run 5 miles.  (I will allow myself dessert on Saturday night if I finish the 8K)

3. Cut back on the race schedule.  When I outlined my race schedule for the year, regular commenter Danny opined that I'd signed up for too many races.  So, revised:

March

• 10 - Kelly St. Patrick's Day 5K, Baltimore, MD. (Done)
• 17- Townebank 8K, Virginia Beach, VA (Too late to do anything about this.)

April

• 13 - Yuengling Light Lager Jogger 5k. Pottsville, PA
•  20 - Sole of the City 10K, Baltimore MD

May -- None.  

June

• 1- Manheim Downtown Development Group: Rock-N-Glow 5K Race, Manheim, PA (Chris is running a half that morning.  I think I can hang at this one.  Plus, it's a crazy one that I can more easily write off as "just for fun".
• 22 - Dreaded Druid Hills 10K, Baltimore, MD. This is 3 whole months away.  While a lot can happen in three months, this is a tough race and I'm glad I didn't sign up for this one yet.

By doing this, it gives me over two months to try get back in shape and decide if I want to tackle Dreaded Druid Hills or not. I'm not signed up for it, so at least I haven't wasted money if I end up skipping it. 

I should, in theory, be able to do some of the Movie Madness 5K in Manchester on April 6, and two now-missing 5Ks, HACC Dash and Armed Forces Day 5K in Harrisburg in May if things are going well -- they are all small races that won't fill up.  I had put a half marathon in June in Philadelphia as a possibility, but I don't think that's even worth considering.  

 

I probably would have been better off, and more motivated/less frustrated, if I'd just started completely over from "Couch-to-5K" back in January.  That still might be my best option, but it would probably rule out Sole of the City. 

In summary, I know there are a lot worse running injuries and a lot of people who are tougher and more dedicate than me out there.  But still, **** you, shins.

Inertia

I got out for a 3-mile run this afternoon.  It sucked. (My leg injuries were fine...just lack of conditioning). It was my first run in 11 days.  That's a big part of why it sucked.

I'm caught in a trap right now.  Running is a lot harder for me right now than it was in my glory days of 2009-2011.  Therefore it's less fun, and so it's easier to find an excuse not to go.  

Too much work.  It's icy out there.  I don't feel well.  I didn't sleep well enough.

They're all true.  But I can't make all these excuses all the time.  I must run more.  As I get in better shape, it won't be so unpleasant and I won't dread it so much.  

I can recognize the trap I'm in.  I know exactly what I have to do and what I need my mindset to be.  I'm just having trouble freeing myself.  There's no magic motivation switch I flip back on. 

Could today be that start?  I made excuses all week.  I woke up to a freezing drizzle this morning, went and got breakfast, and settled in for a lazy by myself.  (Chris is in Wisconsin on her own adventure).  I ate my breakfast sandwich and donuts.  I watched two episodes of Game of Thrones. I resigned myself to running tomorrow, and flipped on the Flyers game, and took a nice three-cat-assisted nap during the second period.  

(I swear that cats must radiate some kind of sleepiness drug into the air.)

But THEN I went out and ran. 

I'm going to be sore tomorrow, but between a really tough day of work on Monday and picking Chris up from the airport that night, I know I won't run on Monday.  So I'm going to try 2 miles tomorrow morning and get myself out of the bear trap.

2012: The Running Year in Review

Better late than never, right?  

My motto for 2012 was "Revenge!"  By the goals I'd outlined for myself, it was a total failure.  I deferred from both of the long races I'd signed up for (Shamrock Marathon in March and Atlantic City Half in October) and refrained from running for most of January, October, and November.  Injuries were really the name of the game in 2012.  

Because of that, I don't want to go month-by-month like I have in both of the other two year-in-review type posts I've done.  Instead, I'm going to borrow a format that my lovely wife, Chris at nevertrade.blogspot.com, used for a post.   

Best Race Experience
TowneBank Shamrock 8K -- J&A Racing does a great job with the Shamrock series of races in Virginia Beach.  I ran the marathon in 2011, and deferred and ran the 8K in 2012.  I think a lot of time it's (Whatever) MARATHON and oh, there's another race, too.  At Shamrock, 8K runners get really nice long-sleeve shirts, medals, and their own post-race beer party.  They really do a great job of giving all the runners the same fun experience (fun during the race itself may vary).  Not only does J&A put on a good event, the 8K course is scenic, flat, and fast and I ran the hell of it: 41:40, a PR by over a minute.  I was disappointed that I wasn't running the marathon, but still had a great time at this race and in Virginia Beach.  

Best Run of the Year
Hershey 10K -- this was a humid, miserable kind of day and definitely wasn't one of the more enjoyable races I've run (because of the weather and because I went way too fast out of the gate, it wasn't a bad event).  What it was was a 10K PR by over 5 minutes.  52:33.  I have no idea where this came from. If this time is to be believed, it's probably the best run I've ever had. I started too fast, up with the people that actually are REALLY fast, died,  and recovered to have a negative split that put me at the 8K mark below my PR time from Shamrock. This is a pretty huge outlier for me from any other 10K or 6 miles I've ever run, or the course was mismeasured.  Either way, I wouldn't be surprised if I never touch this PR.

Race Report: 2011 Philadelphia Marathon (or "Best Time of Your Life, My A**")

I never hit the wall, because the whole race was the wall.

When I look back on the 2011 Philadelphia Marathon in the days, weeks, months and years ahead, I'm not sure how I'll remember it. I failed by all but the very minimum standard (just finish) that I'd set for myself, but I still feel like I did accomplish something. Right now, though, I'll say that it was miserable. I hit the wall at Shamrock, but I would say that I mostly enjoyed the race. Yesterday, I hit the wall earlier in the race, and I would count the 2nd half of the marathon as the most miserable, joyless 13 miles I've ever run, with the exception of one hell of a rush at the finish.

It sucked. I knew I wasn't as ready as I should have been and that it would suck, and I was prepared to accept the consequences, but I underestimated the level of pain I would be in. I don't remember much pain from Shamrock. (Though I think the pain was there and I just chose not to remember it because I am overall very happy with it. Chris is right -- i could barely walk after Shamrock, too.)I mostly remember that I "just" got to a point where my legs just wouldn't go anymore. Yesterday? Very painful.

I finished in 5:07:17, about nine minutes slower than Shamrock. Let's get that unpleasantness out of the way. I have to consider this a setback, a failure, a bad race, but I do not do think my failure was quite complete.

Pre-race
Chris, who was running the half (her second), and I got to the Expo at the Philadelphia Convention Center at around 2pm on Saturday. Packet pickup went smoothly. The expo seemed to take up about half of a very large convention room, and it was tightly packed and crowded. I bought a hefty load of Philadelphia Marathon-logo apparel, and we met up with a few other runner-bloggers who were running the race. (Thanks to Amanda from www.runtothefinish.com for organizing the meetup!). It was while we were hanging around chatting that I noticed my legs were feeling very tired (more from an overall exhausting week, I suspect, rather than a tough week of running) which turned out to indeed be a harbinger of doom.

(Oh, that doesn't look so bad. As you can see, this isn't my first rodeo.)

We looked around the expo for a little while, grabbing our Shamrock Marathon cups at the J&A booth, when I remembered that I wanted to buy a book, because I had forgotten to bring anything to read at the hotel. I was looking for something that would mostly be entertaining stories rather than serious training tips, so my choices seemed to be My Life on the Run by Bart Yasso and Run! by Dean Karnazes. Since Bart Yasso was sitting there at the Runner's World table, I picked up his book, got it signed, and chatted for a minute.



Having accomplished everything we could at the expo, we headed over to Reading Terminal Market, next to the Convention Center, to each have a cookie from the Famous Fourth Street Cookie Company. Let me just say that they are famous for a reason, and leave it at that.



We had dinner (and my pre-race beer) at Sotto Varalli on Broad Street. It certainly was adequate carb loading. With the long day ahead, we were in bed by 10:00.

(Ready to run.)

The Race
The Dream
I got up at 3:30am for a peanut-butter sandwich and some water, and went back to bed. I got up "for real" at 4:15 to do my IT band stretching and foam rolling, apply sunscreen, put BodyGlide everywhere, and try to psych myself up with some pre-race Van Halen. We left the hotel around 6am, accompanied by our friend Maryrose, who came to watch us and some of her other friends.

We were in our corrals a little before the 7am start, and I chatted with a friend of Maryrose's who was running the half and also starting from the super-elite orange corral. It was great to have some company, because it made the interminable wait for the wave start a little less, well...interminable.



The race started, eventually, and while I didn't feel great (in terms of overall energy level), I felt "ok" and I hoped that would be enough. I'm not going to be do a mile-by-mile recap like I did for the half marathon last year, because it would make me too angry to type, but over the first several sections of the course, eastbound through downtown Philly, south on Columbus Boulevard, and northwest on Front St./South Street/Sixth St., I was exactly where I thought I needed to be in terms of pace. I saw the Eagles Drumline, which made sense because my beloved Birds were in NY for their game that night against the Giants, and the Sixers dance team, which didn't make any sense at all since the Sixers don't exist in any meaningful sense right now, although I welcomed the distraction. (We did get Sixers ticket vouchers in our packet and the new owner of the Sixers ran the marathon.)

On the next phase of the course, the long flat westbound stretch down Chestnut Street, I continued to hold back. This is the part of the course where I usually make up time because it's flat and straight with great crowd support. I hit the six-mile mark at midway point of Chestnut at just over an hour. Perfection.

After Chestnut Street, things got a bit more difficult: The long hill on 34th Street, the steep up and down hills of the zoo and Fairmount Park. At least I didn't see people peeing on the zoo this year. Miles 7-11 is the hilliest part of the course. I wonder if I should have eased up more here, though it likely wouldn't have made much difference on this day.

The farthest west point on the half marathon course is just around mile 11. From there, it's a mostly downhill or flat two-mile charge back to Eakins Oval. At this point last year, I pushed myself toward a great half marathon finish. This year, I held back, knowing there were many miles left to run. I felt tired, and as I saw the signs throughout mile 12 directing half marathon finishers to the right and marathoners to the left and a turn back to the west, the wiser part of me contemplated packing it in at 13.1. Instead, I kept to the left and descended into Hell.

(You have chosen...unwisely.)

In hindsight, I believe that my familiarity with the half marathon course was part of my undoing. Though I paced myself well, I think my mindset was to think "I'm almost done" as I progressed through the first half of the course. It was very disheartening to reach the place that had always been the finish for me, where I've had two of the happiest moments of my running career, and turn back out for another 13.1 that I was beginning to suspect that I didn't have in the tank.



The Nightmare
I finished the first half of the marathon in 2:15:02, which was almost exactly where I wanted to be. But I felt weak. Not only was I under-trained (however, I had reason to believe I wasn't that under-trained), it was a warm day compared to the last two Philadelphia Marathon and Half Marathon race days, and I think for me it was just "one of those days", because things started to go wrong soon after I made the turn out toward Manyunk. Still, at some point in the race, and I don't remember exactly where but it was definitely rather early, I decided that the moment I crossed the finish would be amazing, and I wasn't going let anything -- be it fatigue, pain, the (relative) heat, or dissatisfaction with myself -- take that moment away from me.

I think the pain began to creep into my quads at around mile 15, and I had to start taking walk breaks at mile 18 instead of the 21 that I made it to at Shamrock. Pain soon became agony. I got to Manyunk, and it seemed like the turnaround point would never come. I gratefully accepted a cup of beer at the very welcome unsanctioned beer table at mile 19 and some bacon that was being handed out outside a restaurant.

I tried to run as much as I could, knowing that the more I ran, the more quickly I could end this ordeal. I could still have my moment, even if the race sucked. Even if I sucked. (I don't mean to be overly negative here on the blog, but my thought process at this point in the race was very pessimistic. I was so mad at myself.) I tried to split the race into 10-minute segments with three minutes of walking and seven minutes of running, but seldom could I maintain that. I had visions of a 6-hour finish, or no finish at all.

I rallied a bit over the last three miles, and when the 5:00 pace group passed me, I tried in vain to keep up. Still, it seemed that things maybe were not quite as bad as they seemed, and the last three miles of the race really did pass more quickly than I thought they would. It was a disaster, but not as big as a disaster as it seemed at mile 18. Since the second half of the marathon is an out and back, I'd been able to see what was waiting for me, and my impression was that I had a pretty hefty uphill ahead at mile 24 or 25, but it never seemed to come.

I hit Boathouse Row (mile 25) and was overcome with joy -- I knew that my trial would soon be over. I would guess I ran the first half the last mile, trying to decide if I should take one last walk break. I did so as I went by the art museum, not wanting to get "caught" walking by the cameras at the finish line. As I rounded the art museum, the course went downhill and I charged. I knew the finish line was ahead, but with a curve in the road I couldn't tell how far. Luckily, it was right around the bend, and I was almost in tears with relief as I crossed. There will be better days than this, I hope, but my moment was not taken from me. I'm not happy with how I did, but I endured for the medal and so it means something to me.

(After breakfast, we finally felt well-enough to pose.)

I also admit that I really wanted to finish because I didn't want to not be able to wear all the Philly Marathon crap I'd bought the day before. Whatever it takes, right?

Lessons Learned
After Shamrock, I had a whole litany of things I wanted to do differently. Some of them I did: more long runs, better pacing through the first half of the race, and a better job eating throughout the whole marathon. Some of them I did not do as well on, namely speedwork and strength training. Those are a must. I really don't care how fast I am, but I want to do everything I can to make sure no marathon is this un-enjoyable again. My quads need to get stronger. I felt like my cardiovascular endurance was sufficient yesterday despite my need for multiple inhalers to help fight off cold symptoms earlier in the week; it was my legs that were not strong enough.

There's really only lesson from this one. It's hard to accept that I didn't work hard enough, but it's the truth. I could blame the warmer-than-usual weather, since I get stronger when the temperature gets lower, say that Philly was hillier than I expected (I don't think it's considered a bad one, but compared to Shamrock, OMG.) and accept that "some days you've got it; some days you don't" is probably a part of most runners' experiences, but the lesson I want to take from this day, this miserable but still somewhat triumphant day is "Just shut up and work harder."

Virginia Beach, I am coming for you. I will not waste another chance. I'm going to take a few recovery days and then I'm going to make sure I go down to the Shamrock Marathon a better runner and stronger person than I am now.

Congratulations!
Congratulations are in order to Chris, who finished her second half-marathon and scored a new PR! Though there aren't Disney characters to distract runners, I think Philly is a tougher course. Also congratulations to Derek, who, after laying waste to our age group at HACC Dash, ran a PR 1:36 in the half, and Nick, who ran the half after recovering from the Baltimore Marathon, and had cheesesteak eggrolls before the race and still finished. Trust me, no small feat!

Feasting!
After running 26.2 miles, ok, ok, after running most of 26.2 miles, the celebration began. Brunch was at Little Pete's, my favorite diner-type restaurant.

(Our server said they'd had a steady stream of race customers. I figure the Kenyans went through at around 9:15)

I declared my intention to drink 26.2 beers to numb my aching quads. Though I only made it through 4 (post-brunch, 2 at dinner, and 1 during the Eagles game), I will say that I enjoyed them all!

Dinner was spectacular. Cheesesteak eggrolls from the Continental Mid-town.

I slept through 90% of the Eagles game, but a win's a win. We wrapped our weekend in Philly up with an amazing breakfast at Molly Malloy's at Reading Terminal Market.


Now, the race is over. The feasting is done. I have four months to Shamrock and it's time get serious. The climb up the wall begins now.